I have always found taxi drivers particularly perspective... It is a matter of profession? (I don't recall my hair-stylist as being very chirpy...) Anyways, tts besides e pt...

As always, upon boarding e taxi, e driver starts (of course!) by asking u e destination etc... eventually this moves on to e traffic condition (suppose it wasnt too gd). then he starts complaining abt how its got to b so stupid tt e roads r jamming for no reason at 3pm. then somehow u end up talking abt e f1 grand prix with him. (huh?? dont c e connection?? nvm, i didnt either...)

My perspective taxi driver starts by garnering ur buy-in, "well of course, u would agree tt e f1 racing does bring in much benefits for the country." (in chinese)

N e change of tone, "But i find it quite silly to have it in e city. u noe, e govt cannot, because of greater benefit, make e shop owners at suntec have no business. only taxi can enter e area now. last yr, not even taxi leh."

Our talkative taxi driver goes on, attempting to gain more ground while he thinks he makes sense (so far he does), "I find its a prob with e organization lah. u put a track in the city, u need to block all e roads. e hotels do well, but e shops suffer. n also its not very accessible."

Then comes e theory/proposition, "I think accessibility very impt leh. u shldn't just out of nowhere just make a few days got this funny race, then block all e roads. take a week or so to block e roads. i think they (e govt) shld have a central site for all these racing."

With all responsible arguments, e taxi driver feels compelled to recognize e current situation n make e necessary rebuttal, "I noe u would say (which i couldn't really b too bothered to raise) tt e govt planning to build some new racing complex at changi. yar. changi is quite an open space. but still will also hinder e freight services n companies wad."

Finally, e provision of a suggestion, in complete alignment with wad our govt advises us to provide with every piece of criticism, "I think lim chu kang tt area very gd to have racing complex leh. e place very open, got no business to hinder, also got so many expressway. even e ang moh pass by on e expressway also cannot miss lah. lim chu kang also very near army camp. they want mobilize all those ns ppl, zoom immediately there."

Satisfied with his gp-ly organized argument, complete with intro, differing opinions n suggestion, e taxi driver lets out a huge laugh, "Wouldnt u agree?"

At least my mum had e patience to tell him he could reflect HIS opinions to e planning comm. every1 is entitled to an opinion, but i couldnt care less in debating. spore seems ever further from our ideal democracy...

bah... 77/44.

returning to e 8 wk chiong-ing regime again... sigh... i super miss e quiet taxi drivers there. perhaps cause im asian tts y they r refraining from speaking. sounds gd to me.

Current Mood: disappointed
Current Music: nibawoguanzui

Its been a while since i have posted. perhaps sufficiently long to even make my own posts seem foreign to me. perhaps the past has long shrunk to a line. a time line.

but tts not really the line im thinking abt.

to many ppl, lines r pretty impt. to mathmos, lines might mean an asymptote, a divide between wad makes sense n not. lines might b parallel n non-intersecting or intersecting at infinity. lines may b circles n circles lines. but its not these sort of lines im thinking. my commander used to say tt theres a fine line between right n wrong; success or failure. but there is a line n there is one side u r on. perhaps its usually this fine line, the infinitely thin double-ended ray determining a direction or its reverse. a boundary dividing a space into two. perhaps even the dotted line is not something im looking for. it is a representation of "openness" - unapproachable, but at least u could get as close as u like to it.

lets take an example. where is the line between being open/liberal in thinking and being socially correct. i was walking home one day - as per usual down the canal after having routinely and deftly averted the irritating person trying to convince me to sign up for different charities everyday. wheres the line tt makes ppl normal or salesmen. anyways, this group of 4 lower sec students proceeded in front of me. among them, a girl n boy in uniform were holding hands, her head upon his shoulders, neither of them taller than my shoulders. the super-conservative old lady could have very well come along n shelled them with all sort of confucius teachings n san zi jing (only to receive quite some bit of si zi jing herself). or conversely, the cool n "open" western ed youth could condemn the old lady as being conservative, a country bumpkin, blah blah blah... perhaps there really isnt an easy line to draw here.

but perhaps it is fated tt i m required to find this line. not long later (n perhaps when it seems like other than the 4 of them, im the only other person left along the canal), to quite my amazement, the other 2 students - apparently lower sec boys in CVs - placed arms around each other's waists n drew their heads to each other. thought-provoking...

ill raise perhaps another example. recently, my friend probed me on the latest ndp theme song on facebook. hm quite nice i would say. so then i did a status post "wad do you see". perhaps almost instantly, another friend replied n posted a comment/link of mrbrowns "lekuasimi" underneath. hm also quite interesting i would say. the first friend pondered abt how "old ppl" r not likely to appreciate the song. so well, i decided i might as well check youtube's comments on the video. the song received 4.5 stars, with sufficiently many reviews to achieve, wad i might consider reliable (unless my hongkee is to insist tt its a propaganda thingy, i dont care) a young kid also commented tt he didnt like the song; a couple of ppl struggled to say they were singaporeans (???) a PR recognized it as one of the best recent ndp songs. well...
each of us prob have a line somewhere to dictate wad is nice or not. one person gave me quite some insight with this comment "This song at first i hear is not good but slowly i find it nice...... " n this sort of reminded me of something quite some while ago - the MDA rap. perhaps as how the speaker for MDA rap suggested. she too felt initially disgusted with the rap, but came along to appreciate it after time. im apprehensive... where really have our line gone?

i presume there always comes a time when we have to find a line. most of the time, we r not appreciative of the line, but only more concerned abt determining boundaries, the 38th parallel, locus of points, ... rarely do we actually see these lines as wad hold things together - as orbits "holding" (reflecting gravity) our moral planets on their course. there always comes a time when we no longer know where our lines are, n when we have to re-discover and establish them.

bah... 77/44.

Current Music: what do you see

I used to have the sickening prob of having to find activities during the exam periods. It is perhaps no exception now. As the bubble evolves into a tortoise shell, each college room starts its asymptotic slide into a space-time warp, with their occupants never to appear till eons later. Or perhaps not, perhaps it is just me who is living in a different universe.

Sometimes we wonder wad we really have our friends for. I recall the age-old convo with yeesian abt gengrui n recently with my junior abt “my own” definition of friendship. Now, stuck in my convolution of a space-time room, it is starting to look (in various peculiar geometries) like the same old recycle bin concept, aggrandized n taken contrapositives. Perhaps this is the new culture (or merely the symptoms of one without religion as my most earnest corridor-mate might suggest) – the instinctive junking of all tt is considered uncool n adopting another which is just a recycled product of repackaging. What r friends really for? Or r they merely just my way of filling up timetables, my unsatisfiable desire for popularity?

Many ppl tell me im a mathmo (math monster in cambridge terms), along with it the associated properties of a hermit n weirdo (if they do not alr come hand-in-hand). I m expected to enjoy my sole black hole, unspottable on the galactic map n gladly avoidable by all. Death awaits all which falls in. In comparison, suns enjoy their harem of planets and entourage of paparazzi meteors. My corridor-mates like to say im least of a mathmo as any arnd. Perhaps, i really am. Or perhaps its just the self-deceit of one desperately dodging the recycle bin.

I shld start learning how to respect this space-time contortion – the singularity of self-existence.

bah…    77/44.

Let’s not talk abt e barefoot incident…

Anyways, i had recently (a few days ago) attended a talk regarding going global. incidentally, i was reminded of the book “the collapse of globalism” (by John Ralston Saul) tts still sitting (somewhere) in my room. if only i had the ability to comment on some of the arguments in there. grah. but anyways, the speaker started off with some reasons for going global n then moved on to his own case study of how he was tasked to make a company global. tt duely said, i was knowingly disappointed. somehow i expected a deeper discussion on the methods rather than a sort of gloss over of main “principles” per se. but it did inspire this post, so well….

I have read at least the first chapter of “the collapse of globalism”. perhaps as a stunning realization of tt, the financial world is in turmoil n in many places, countries r undertaking protectionistic measures. us is divided with the eu on the course of action n china complains on the reliability of us treasury bonds. and then…. alas. swine flu. ultimately, this beckons the qn of whether globalization/globalism is merely a passing interest (or as how John Ralston Saul puts it, globalism the experiment) or the final and end state. if so, wad is the next BIG thing to follow from globalism?

The main idea in “the collapse of globalism” is the refusal tt globalism is the natural procession of social n economic order. by investigating many aspects of socio-economic development, the author comes to the conclusion tt globalism is retreating n a new wave of nationalism is impending. in my opinion, globalization will eventually only become a tool for nations who want to exploit them. certainly, some nations r in no need of globalism. china was somewad isolated from the world b4 the recent “opening up”. yet, the huge nation survived on its own economy n development. globalization might eventually become a solely economic tool for countries who would like to exploit a global market (at the cost of disbenefits).

I posed this qn to my friend, the economist. quote: how much larger than we get if it is already the entire world? perhaps. i was recently dabbling in Steven Strogatz “Sync” (btw, he is coming to cambridge to give a talk on the 19th :) ). in the book, he dissected the theory of synchronous flashing of lights of fireflies. perhaps globalization is merely a state of synchronization - an active participation of the individual nations in a chorus (the chosen word of the author) of economic understanding and integration. in the book, an example of a running club was mentioned, where ppl of different running capabilities r placed together n investigated as to whether they will end up running as a pack. in many of the extreme cases, synchrony never happens, but as greater coherence amongst the runners is increased, a sudden asymptotic synchrony occurs. my point being, our nations r much like the diverse grp of runners, each with a different objective n rate of growth. no doubt laws of comparative adv may guarantee gains from international trade n specialization, it remains a issue of how much we r willing to compromise to achieve the synchrony of globalism. it is, ultimately, a state of unstable equilibrium. so back to the qn, is there something larger than globalism? it appears tt nothing practical can seem larger than globalization -  it in itself a fine balance of economic incentives n disincentives, political popularity n social change. we cannot seem to merge ppl on any ideology.

Some smart aleck shld come along n raise the qn: wad abt “Earthism” – environmentalism? perhaps. yet perhaps its just a projection of globalism on a different scale.

There was once the Renaissance, the Industrial Revolution, the Silicon Age n the Internet. and there was Globalization n Globalism. perhaps there really is something bigger out there.

bah…    77/44.

Grah…

I was intending to create a post when i went back to spore. but laziness and my happy old friend procrastination paid a visit. anyways, a movie n some random talk with an air stewardess prompted me to at least get this post up n going asap. A single flight thru a number of destinations.

Anyways, i decided post arriving back in spore tt im going to write abt the flight back. apparently a huge delay was in motion. the previous plane has been grounded (not sure whether its the airbus or the lau pok 747 – which ppl still really like) n all the passengers were being shifted up onto mine. today, or rather ytd, our plane made yet another magnificent delay (presumably a technical prob). midway thru the flight the captain announced abt shutting down the inflight entertainment to troubleshoot. well well.

Enough of the ranting n back to the issue. this is not quite wad u might expect from a merely year old fleet of airbus a380. r we overworking our planes?

All arnd the globe, ppl r talking abt streamlining. as planes r generally streamline-shaped (bad joke ><), this could only mean chopping flights off from the fleet. a recent report was talking abt the airplane graveyard in the middle of the desert. apparently (or perhaps not) few ppl do actually noe where the sq planes r parked. anyways is this grounding of planes merely a sign of streamlining, or a real issue of passenger counts? on the other hand, could it b tt such streamlining is causing an overworking of the planes? a pretty famous plane incident (if u do watch air crash investigations on nat geo) talked abt the overflying of a feeder plane to hawaii. eventually, metal fatigue caused the fuselage to peel off the plane midway thru the flight.

On a less serious note, the first to take its toll in today’s multimedia work, is perhaps the electronics (not the flight controls tt kind of electronics) – the in-flight entertainment system. in fact, this really isnt the first case of the in-flight system creating probs. on my first flight to uk, a heard from a friend tt her flight had a massive breakdown in quite a number of these entertainment systems. on ytd’s flight, the captain claimed tt it was an overheating n tt the system had to b troubleshooted. but is this really an issue of overworking? i approached an engineer whos also to cam tt night. he claims tt the huge system used to maintain these many many high bandwidth systems must certainly come under a lot of stress, n would thus b likely to overheat. hm. so its a matter of capacity, is it?

Is this an issue of whether the mega-big-jumbo remains practical, or is this an issue of “engineering”? engineering is almost always abt pursuing the largest, biggest, etc… or at least portrayed in nat geo. yet, the new age of nanotechnology has changed this culture into one tt pursues the minute. econs also talk abt the diminishing marginal returns from oversizing. even macs has withdrawn its supersize option (some argue because of the supersize me documentary). the current economic situation will most prob put a cap on how large things can get within the next few yrs.

But perhaps this is a prob abt commercial engineering and abt the principles of engineering… a friend once commented to me tt electronic items these days barely ever outlive their warranties by half a yr. is this spirit of engineering equally imparted, unfortunately, to the airbus? perhaps not quite either. the airbus was said to b environmental in terms of its energy efficiency. but is tt merely an economic incentive or a sticking thru of principles? in contrast, wad r the principles of engineering? to merely build the biggest fastest, or to make profits? do issues like durability n safety still remain in todays engineering?

Anyways, as a complete side note, i watched the animation movie Bolt on the plane. ok~ the dog is bloody cute. but aside. it does remind me of platos cave. for those who dont noe the storyline, heres a general description… the dog (bolt) is involved in acting in some action movie, in which the dog has superdog powers. but the director, in order to obtain incredibly lifelike n real shots of the dog has deceived the dog from young tt it possessed actual powers. ie. bolt thinks he HAS powers. eventually, bolt gets out of the studio n discovers the real world. (n the rest of the story begins) I was like hm. tt felt completely platos cave. i recalled some strange snippet of conversation i caught from this guy doing philo somewhere. somehow he was talking abt objective realities or rather the non-existence of objective realities. he claims tt realities r wad we make of our observation. tt even the reality there exist to each individual is different across individuals. in contrast, is it then pointless to attempt to escape reality? or even more extreme, to fabricate an ideal (to urself) reality to live in? can we possibly manage to delude ourselves sufficiently to create “realities”? or r we in fact already living in tt reality somehow? tt “reality” of considerable peace (or disorder, whichever u view)

In any case, i manage to chuck these realities aside n finished the movie, very much completing the flight and this tour of various ideas.

bah…    77/44.

hm...

I have always wondered abt the expression "as if/like/as though ... has met an old friend".

A friend of mine came down to cam, not to visit me, but to visit fish. alas. anyways, i didnt really noe who it was in the 1st place n having serendipitously asked abt this mystery person did i realize it was an OLD friend of mine. few still remembered the time when dssq was aka big bird n yanlong was aka cutie-pie. (tt came as a shock to fish, but anyways, tt was besides the pt.)

But inadvertently we came to the pt abt contact. i wasnt on his list of stop-overs n neither did i noe abt his visiting plans. (n to think tt we were best friends for 6 yrs is pretty surprising... but anyways) i asked abt how many of our primary sch classmates did we remain in contact with. of course, some fortunately (or otherwise) ended up in the same course as he did in ns (n some in mine, like nigel koh).

N of course, the all of all topic: did u add so n so on facebook? alas. For some reason or another, this reminded me of some long time gp discussion. (n so i must fulfill this memory n pen/qwerty it down here)

Facebook is perhaps another interesting product of technology (communication tech in particular). while we may now remain in tune with ur friends' activities n daily lives (n send msgs n chat n write on wall n do funny stuff like super poke or facebook rape), we run into 2 classes of friends, who dont quite fit in. one, the bunch of ppl u add n whom u have no idea who they r n neither do u talk to them and ,two, the bunch of ppl whom u used to noe n have added them but have never spoken to them online wadsoever. (how many ppl do u actually talk to? this does sound like every1 on the list alr ><)

Perhaps tech gives us greater ability to communicate, but it impairs a natural desire to interact. perhaps this avenue for communications makes us unable to cherish the opportunity to interact with others. communicating across distance becomes common n there is always tt possibility tt u could contact some1 if necessary. but then again, wads necessary? n after some time, it becomes a sort of procastinating shelving back of plans to meetup.

Perhaps some friends demand more attention than being simply an icon on ur list of facebook friends.

N so the friend of mine left cam n went back to spore n back into the army n celebrated his bday (which i only discovered on, ironically, facebook).

Meanwhile, back in cam, another friend comes into the picture. i went with her for a strange talk, which was supposedly a religious/current affairs discussion but degraded (or otherwise if u wish to view so) into the latter. tt was completely contrary to my expectations, but anyways, tts also besides the pt. but the contents of the talk was interesting, so i thout it deserved some mention...

The topic was on the morality of capital markets - a mixture of a questioning of wad caused the current credit crisis n a brainstorming of the possibility of building a moral capital market after this crisis (is this possible at all? r capital markets moral or amoral?) there was a total of 5 speakers, each from different bgs. the first (a director) espoused on the core prob of human nature - greed, imprudence, hao yi wu lao (cant find a better phrase ><) - n how regulation was the way to go. the second (an economist) argued abt the inherent macro probs of the economic structure n how fiscal stimulus n regulation is the way to proceed. the third (a preacher - alas the religious...) proposed a return to classical virtues (which is in some sense a combating of human nature depending on which view-point u come from - in any case, its somewad linked to the 1st guys) n the removal of financial instruments tt have any sort of grey areas of morality associated with them. the fourth (social entrepreneur) rejects the notion tt the past/pre-crisis shld b restored (or tt ppl reminisce abt the past) n calls for greater creativity, investment n community-orientation in social enterprises. the fifth (social entrepreneur2) champions a method of social accounting but regrets tt the capital market essentially decides the fate of social enterprises.

In conclusion, we have the few basic (not really...) qns:
1. Are capital markets moral or amoral?
2. How do we decide between regulation vs self-regulation, accountability vs responsibility?
3. Are social enterprises viable at all? Or more cynically, wads the pt of social enterprises anyway? (as suggested by my friend)

1. The chair of the discussion attempted to sway the discussion by suggesting tt we may have to consider the outcomes of the decisions made by capital markets as being moral or amoral. of course, we could reject this n say tt investment is blind. but it seems tt the very act of choosing to invest in something rather than the other generates some externalities, b it social or environmental. some might suggest tt a counter-example is green technology. the influx of capital into such a "socially positive" industry might simply attributed to its anticipated rise as a result of burgeoning global demand (n shrinking supplies), ie the anticipated returns r high. but intended or unintended, the effect of the investment remains. the speakers mentioned an example of accidental manslaughter as an analogy.

2. Hm... i have no idea how to ans this actually. to my huge disappointment, the speakers never did actually battled face to face with this beast. some have merely said tt regulation is required, while others say its a matter of self-control. personally, i suggest tt effective regulation exists but we cannot count on it to b sufficient. it is somewad a cycle of regulation. a crisis occurs n greater regulation is called for; a period of relative peace n hubris sets in. the qn can also b phrased as how much can we trust ourselves to self-regulate.

3. This reminds me of the econs a lvl essay, but anyways. we may tweak the definitions of viability to include a long-term survival n growth rather than out-competing rival firms. we might b able to argue tt in the long-term social enterprises can survive. the speakers do mention of how capitalizing on new strategies have allowed some social enterprises to succeed, ie. perform as well, if not better than others. another possibility would b getting non-social enterprise firms to engage in some social accounting (as suggested by the speaker). but this could very much b a return to the bottom-line (or single bottom-line model for those jargon-junkies) during times of crisis. a number of commentaries on the web have also mentioned tt this is actually observed in today's economic crisis.

So? im setting the stage for some discussion here...

As an update, i will b back in spore after 17 mar.

bah... 77/44.

Current Mood: free
Current Music: kissgdbye

bleet... sleet...

Snow turned to sleet as the megalomaniac weather system passes. term passes and time passes. i have always been pretty amazed by snow. of course, the lack of experience brings abt greater awe, but its not an equator thing. as the snow fell for the 2nd day, a massive gathering was spontaneously formed outside the master's lodge (without the master arnd of course) and a snowball fight transpired. n moods still werent dampened when the porters came to kick the party.

But as the snow fell for fourth day, a somewad irksome feeling developed. ice covered pavements, slushy bridges (which u can go up n not come down properly). still, a mega huge snowman was constructed along the path to my room and not far beyond, an igloo.



There was a considerable buzz within and outside of college with regards to the igloo. on my trip to addenbrookes (the hospital @ cambridge), the taxi driver asked abt the college i was in n i told him i was in fitz. immediately, he mentioned abt hearing the igloo. well, im impressed, i said. i thought it was simply a fitz thing.

Sometimes i ponder abt the phrase "survive the snow". On the day of the first snowfall, i was visiting a couple of friends who came down with flu. ok. nothing much. it was only flu. i didnt come down with flu myself.

As the snow passed and the days grew warmer, the snowman started to take a bow to front and the igloo presented a tribute to the leaning tower of pisa. of course, the stuck-up engineers (like fish. no menace ><) might argue tt the construction of the snowman/igloo was flawed. but the inevitable remained hovering over the horizon. fish mentioned to me abt the bridge project n how he had to test it to destruction. shld i give any pity to his bridge? perhaps those who aimed to start out on the snowman/igloo themselves knew that destruction was eventual. no one set off to save the snowman nor the igloo. their presence was simply a transient thing.

i got off my taxi @ addenbrookes n trudge up to the fifth floor. some bits of waiting n i managed to get to his ward. i gave him a bunch of oranges and poured him a glass of water. he wasnt in gd shape. he tried to open the cup of jelly but failed n so i offered him some help. the snow stopped for a brief reprise.

warm rain. at last, the arrival of rain finally marked the end of the snowy week. the snowman took a backbreaking crash to ground zero n the igloo crumbled to a pile of rubbles (no doubt icy rubbles). snow, which became ice, slowly melted away into brackish puddles. the ugliness of snow was in full view. on his way to lectures, my corridor-mate took a fall n was eye-balled by a kind coursemate of his. now he sits crippled in the room next door. (n is on taxi scheme - free taxi to lectures)

little bits of snow still remain. half of the snow man has melted away and the igloo remains a circular pile on the floor. my friend is abt to get discharged.

i went to lectures today. being a little early, i sat down beside one of those asian mathmos in lectures. i started by asking wheres she been to, the kind of standard opening u make talking abt not having seen tt person for while (of course, theres 250 in a lecture. sometimes, i dont even notice the fitz mathmos). she described her 2 night stint at the ICU down at addenbrookes. this was the first lecture since she was discharged. she controlled it, but i saw a flicker of grief in her eyes.

as i type now, snow has started to fall again outside my window. a gloom has set itself upon cambridge. for once i really hate the snow. really hate it.

bah... 77/44.

Current Mood: melancholy
Current Music: chenmodegaoyang

hm...

for some very odd reason, im possibly depressed. not because we just made like some 40+K losses for the game today, but tt theres something inherently wrong abt creation, as in my creation.

im perhaps starting to empathize with fathers who have sons smarter than them. to many it might b glory or fame, but theres just an inherent sourness of ego. ur creation is smarter than u r. tts not a very gd thing to start off with.

perhaps this is y movies abt robots n e whole notion abt destroying the human race etc r so popular. perhaps there is really a threat out there tt something we create might outdo us someday. perhaps there comes a pt in time when we r too concerted abt creation tt we cease to understand how things work - when the engineering progress beyond the science n the science beyond the maths tt could support it. (alas! one of the millenium problems!) can we really programme something tt is beyond ourselves, to perform fuctions tt we cannot possibly do even in polynomial time?

this brings us back to one of the greatest debates in the philosophy of maths. the four-colour prob was first solved using computational methods (rather, computational methods were just a final fixture of a repertior of largely elegant ideas). yet, a number of mathematicians frown upon this methodology as being uncomplete. proponents of the computational method claimed tt the process of checking n eliminating the final cases was actually possible by human hours (no doubt by a huge number of human hours) n thus is technically solvable, but isnt quite worth the man hours to solve. in essence, this is a way of showing tt it is possible to achieve the result (without actually going tooth n nail into doing it).

but essentially, theres still a huge hole in all of these. as yeesian quickly pts out, we really dont noe wad goes on behind the phospherous screen (nowadays, LCD; or perhaps if u were completely nitpicky abt it, the metal casing of the CPU or silicon chip). with increasing complexity of the programme, we sometimes really dont noe wad we r programming, how the results r derived, the way the computational process arrives at the ans. in some case, an unexpected systemic methodology in how computers work can destroy a proof. performing operations u expect would not b performed. the process of using programmes is also abt knowing the computation behind it.

swinging back to topic, it becomes a qn of whether or not we really possess the ability to programme something we completely dont understand, or whether its purely just a matter of being able to check thru all the required processes n methodologies. without deviating too much into the realms of misuage, we may qn if the complexity of programmes can actually exceed the human ability to check it. (for those who have done programming, u must noe how irritating debugging is) i wouldnt ans this qn. in fact, i would rather b seeking an ans to this.

in conclusion, wad has all this got to do with me? u might have guessed. i created a programme tt has outdone me. when it was supposed to have been programmed to think like me, we differed on 5 accounts. programme 4 - me 1. grah.

n so sinks the ego.

btw, as a complete sidenote, happy CNY!!! ok. (in almost a week)

bah... 77/44.

Current Location: the bubble
Current Mood: ego burst

And so after much procrastination, from which Gar Goeier's Travels became Christmas Stories and now to New Year Stories, I have finally stamped my foot in n decided to settle this once n for all.
I was perhaps inspired by a recent wave of interest in fiction books, especially throughout my long journeys from london to bristol to marrakech n then to merzouga n back. perhaps i too (in the huge ego of mine) would like to emanate the authors of the books i have read n convey my own msgs. in fact, a friend of mine recently asked me to write a peer review 4 him. it turned out tt half the review was purely storytelling (not in the sense tt wad was said was false n imagined).
In any case, the following is just a humble collection of some stories, similar to all my posts, r perhaps just a collection of random thoughts n qns.

The Hole in the Wall

And thus i went from cambridge down to london when my parents came to visit me. the long hours of driving on the road finally culminated in a sweet little hotel in a congestion-charge zone. having the image of a backpacker in mind, i decided to tour the region. i didnt have to venture far b4 i encountered the hole in the wall.
Many ppl visit this hole in the wall, some serious-faced, some slow-paced. only one person uses the hole at anytime n all the others wait orderly behind. whenever any1 tried to jump queue, they would b immediately confronted by those eagerly awaiting their turns.
For some, its a daily pilgrimage. Others recognize its sacred existence. Some will proceed towards it with utmost secrecy (no doubt the long queue of staring eyes behind) to shield the rest from obtaining the figures. figures? 4D? perhaps. almost always the hole produces cash in return; once in a while a person is rejected cash for his "non-piousness" n this person will most certainly leave with utmost fury. for the privileged who obtain the cash, they would deftly stuff them into their bags n walk off.
R we all stuck in a cult of money n automated tellers? does cash really divide us into small individual holes in walls? is there even anything to complain abt?

The Big Black Bin

The big black bin has huge words big black bin printed on it. To a non-traveller in spore, this big black bin is probably just a rubbish bin underserving of the huge title the big black bin. even i, having been here for some 3 months, cannot determine wad to dump into which bin. in any case, u might have figured, it is a recycling bin. (a huge one of course)
The big black bin, however, does bring to mind 2 interesting qns. i was reminded of my college where the bins r cleared once a term (oh darn). n by the time it reached the end of term, our small black bin was literally overflowing. alas. there was this huge discussion on my corridor as to y the college doesnt want to clear the bins more regularly while promoting green actions. n so, ideology failed on practicality. conclusion? big black bin to the rescue.
I attended a talk some time ago on renewable energy. more so is the talk a championing of using numerical data to support analysis than abt the possibilities of renewable energy. in any case, y make such a serious issue of climate change n global warming n energy crisis? im not trivializing anything here. im just saying, think big black bin.

The Old Lady and her London

My little tour of london culminated in the last evening with a short flight on the london eye. (of course, it didnt take long b4 i heard abt the incident on the spore flier, but anyways...) as the cabin rose in its first few minutes, i discovered a interesting "structure" of red lights in the distance n without much thought, i asked the old lady beside me wad it was. she wasnt from london n so she didnt had a clue.
As the cabin rose to the top of the wheel n scaled backed down on the other side, passengers were ecstatic, many jumping at "award-winning" shots of the london night scene. the old lady was poised at the edge of the cabin, a dignified appearance. her husband stood solemnly behind her, no a hand on her hip, but yet a precautious state of mind as if to catch her any moment she falls.
Was tt a tear i have seen? or a flash of self-accomplished smile? i dont noe. the old lady just looked into the distance. past space n perhaps past time. where sailing boats started filling the thames, skyscrapers fell n colonial buildings took over, perhaps even the air became less carbon dioxide filled while the london bridge crumpled up from the tragic prediction of the nursery rhyme "london bridge is falling down". yes, on the lenses of her pupils screened a movie: scenes from an old time trip to the capital city of london, scenes from an old time visit to a gd friend in london, scene from an old time romance in london, romance with london.
The end of the flight on the london eye marked the end of a short trip in london for me. for the old lady, she has created her own london.

The Atlas Mountains and the Sahara

A short pitstop at bristol n i was on board a flight to morocco. it didnt take long b4 i arrived at marrakech n booked a long haul bus to rissani to catch my friends in the sahara. first, i never knew tt the sahara actually extended to morocco (n so i wasnt quite as prepared for the harsh winter night of the sub-saharan climate n open air bus tt drove thru the night). second, i never knew tt mountains existed in morocco.
Anyway, i arrived at the bus station awaiting my bus which was to b in 3 hours time. too lazy to navigate on my own, i decided simply to read my book. in wasnt a while later tt a small girl approached me with a hand-full of necklaces. as if i needed to buy any1 necklaces, but taking pity for the girl, i bought a couple. THEN, she returned asking if i had a note to change from her small change of 200 dirhams. i counted the money in her hand. it amounted to less than 130 dirhams. bored n keen for some free entertainment, i counted aloud the change. she insisted i counted wrongly. in any case, she left without the change, only to return AGAIN asking if i could lend her a pen. ok~ i fished out an army-issue blue ballpt pen n gave it to her. immediately, her face changed. neither was the pen returned to me. (so it wasnt a gold-plated mont blanc pen wasnt it.)
Having shrugged off the little girl, i got onto the bus. it left the station shortly after n en route i saw quite some number of donkeys pulling carts, horses pulling carts n even human pulling carts, until i got too far from the city tt there wasnt any one or thing pulling carts anymore.
In the distance rose the Atlas Mountains, sitting n observing, with eyes gleaming like its snow-capped peaks.
I met this young (ok~ its not as if im old myself) man on the way. curious abt the things here, i asked abt the socio-political situation here. it appears tt many ppl revere the king of morocco. in fact, the streets were decorated with flags of green n red in preparation for the kings tour of the saharan towns in a few days time. among the flags, a lady dragged a tub of water into the house. as her children played arnd the tub, she harshed them up n said something (prob not to waste water or something of the similar). this young man did however, show reasonable distaste for the police n the civil service. i couldnt quite understand him everytime he reached this part.
In any case, the young man alight at rich n i proceeded on to the desert on a 4-wheel drive n a camel. The camel guide was another young man who kept asking throughout the journey if everything was ok. OF COURSE ITS OK, how can the weather b too hot for me. anyways, we steadily climbed e dunes of sahara n when we reached one of the local maxima, the guide pted out. u c those mountains there, tts e atlas mountains, n there is the mountains in algeria n theres...
A half a day n we were making our way back. e wind has faded some of the footprints in e fine sand. the sahara, the quiet giant. like a herd of herbivorous wild buffaloes. quiet n peaceful until provoked. will the sahara some day cover the atlas mountains? perhaps the mountains, with its snow-capped peaks can only stare with increasing horror, the advance of the sahara.

The Christmas Lunch

A not-evangelistic friend of mine suggested tt i go with him n his friend to church to catch the prayers. well... i dont have a religion, but in any case, it would b a gd exp, so might as well...
N so, we walked down to the church cause his friend didnt have a bike, n we were a bit late (><) when we arrived. there was some singing of songs as we took our places (with incredibly nice harmonizing!) n the father went on to give a short description of a line in the bible n demonstrated (alas) with a few props of his own. in any case, the session ended n we decided to find a spot to eat lunch, except...
NO EATERY IS OPEN. alas.
So we went back to the church n they agreed tt the only place providing lunch was churches on christmas. little did i noe tt the lunch had much more than just lunch. on the table laid 3 sheets of paper (n some copies of those). it appears we will b playing some games. i was invited to sit in between e host n her husband, a cambridge educated math grad, n we attempted some of the puzzles on the table (recognizing happy christmas in 20 languages, recognizing ultra closed up shots of common day items, anagrams, etc...). we even had cherades n dressed my friend up as an angel.
And of course, theres the christmas story. Qn. y does the christmas story only involve children? i have little knowledge on tt n so i decline to comment. in any case, the lunch soon ended n we left.
Perhaps this is the first time i have understood it when ppl say ppl open up in churches n when ppl say this so n so i have met in church.

The Countdown and the Movie

Its new years eve. another yr, perhaps a different yr has passed. the enlistment. the scholarship. the crazy term. the short tour. n now, i m celebrating my first new yr away from home. 2009 is a yr of despair some say. perhaps it is, with all the economic hailstorm going on. russia has just cut its gas to ukraine n the pound has only just recovered against the euro.
Shut away in a small room with 1 other sporean n 5 malaysians, we ate our dinner n shortly after, we adjourned to another room for a movie :) (Which was actually a bit sleezy cause the movies just out n its already online.) but anyways... it was a life drama n perhaps being a bit strange of a plot, it invokes a greater sense of wanting to cherish the present than its role of making the audience feel strange abt its development. in any case, the countdown was in ten minutes. some1 opened a bottle of chardonnay n another a pack of chocolates. this is 2008. this is 2009.

Happy new yr. let us all wish tt ppl will view this yr as a yr of opportunities rather than a yr of economic cataclysm. tt much said, lets hope my team doesnt screw up the merill lynch challenge ><

photos..


a passage. an instance.


the old lady's london


the sahara n (wad i believe is) the atlas mountains in the very very far bg


i c the light

end of random photos.. i dont have many very interesting ones. for interesting ones, pls refer to my facebook thanx ><

bah... 77/44.

Current Location: london-bristol-marrakech-merzouga-marrakech-cambridge
Current Mood: guilty
Current Music: canfei

I m quick to note tt i havent posted in a long while (n of course, u have been equally quick to note on tt). i have, as well, been equally quick to note tt the term is ending (not quite as fast as some though). perhaps this is y theres this recent mad struggle to get urself into some college's formal n try the food. in between, here n there, a number of interesting talks n discussions appeared along the way. conclusion? i didnt get myself in the formals n went (surprisingly, or perhaps not) for the talks instead.

mathmo talks aside, as i presume i would b completely incomprehensible by the general audience here (consisting of a few individuals nevertheless...), not to mention tt i hardly understood 10% of the talk altogether! anyways, i was recently invited to a talk by rebecca given by a director at the LKY school of public policy. n so since im particularly free (n as a mathmo im supposed to seem as if im free even if im getting flattened by massive amounts of example sheets. thin as they r, they weigh tonnes), i decided to rsvp to the talk n managed to get a box of chicken rice for a pound. ok. tts out of topic n i shld also cut the suspence so yar. heres to it.

i have always shunned discussing the issue of media here. perhaps not just here, but in general, any gp essay involving the media is pariah to me (untouchable). more imptly, it is easy as any blogging person to reach a pt of identity crisis n ask if u really r just announcing to the world wad happens in ur daily life, ranting or in the utmost idealism (n fail in reaching so), running a commentary. perhaps tt is y i kept avoiding the topic, but YES I WILL CUT TO THE CHASE NOW.

ok. the talk was on media, as u perhaps have guessed by now. more so, it is abt the relationship between the media n the government in spore. the talk was centred abt the dilemma of building the intelligent nation while restricting the onset of the new media. first. it is a dilemma - we want to exploit information technology but we cannot do so unless we allow the free access and flow of new media elements, together with it, a set of opinions, possibly unsupported assertions or accusations, of us as a nation and a community. next, let us not also consider the realpolitiks of the issue; it seems to b so tt the govt does not want to restrict the new media, but finds certain challenges in engaging n utilizing the media. To set up the context, we assume the premise tt the traditional forms of media (newspaper, tv, etc) have been restricted in some sense by the govt. n in particular, we now possess the ability to see the benefits and drawbacks of having such a system since it started some 30-40 years ago. finally, we make the observation tt the govt cannot possess the full ability to control the new media n thus cannot b able to take any form of corrective action on certain groups in the new media.

given these contextual assumptions, we move on to the main issue of discussion. necessarily, it is the natural step to question abt the reasons for which the media is restricted and furthermore abt the potential "harm" tt could b caused by a free media. i give here two of the most common arguments provided by the govt. first, the media is not endowed with the mandate of the ppl to pass political judgements; second, the media should play a developmental role instead of creating friction through the disclosure of opinions of various social entities.

the first we see is a condition of the sporean social contract and thus i will not go any further to examine it. the second, however, talks abt the potential dangers of the media. ok. we first recognize tt the media is indeed widespread, in particular, the internet connectivity of spore is reaching a high point (if not a progressively higher point) with the wifi-ing of the entire nation. in some sense, this dictates the accessibility of the media, more so increasingly than the forms of traditional media. we do, however, realize tt this is a singly-directed process. if we assume tt ppl will accept info from the media without qn, then we can only conclude tt we need to impose control over malicious elements in the media. but we cannot accept this assumption. in addition, this assumption also fails upon the possibility of systemic self-correction. the speaker of the talk mentions abt the malaysian case n the role the new media played in the recent elections. most notably, the system of free comms allowed a form of action against opinions. suppose some1 opiniates a view which may be controversial or degradatory in some sense, then a flood of replies is observed to "counter" this argument. thus, putting together these 2 safe-guards of journalistic cityzenry, we find that the assumption of acceptance without question cannot hold.

but is spore simply a group of intelligent ppl without an intelligent voice? do we think abt issues n not express them specifically? a member of the audience opiniates abt the relation between self-sensorship n the uncritical media. in particular, the knowledge of possible actions against the editor forces the editor to sensor articles b4 they hit the press. even more so, it prevents the journalists from submitting such an essay to the editors in the 1st place. the natural qn is wad gives rise to this form of landscape. cherian george's calibrated coercion gives a measured description of the history behind this development. moreover, the theory of calibrated coercion suggests tt having balanced the maximal interests of all parties within the system while maintaining a low profile of intervention builds both credibility n passivity (as long as the tacit mechanisms r in place, the jobs of filtering information can b done in a non-publicly obvious manner) in the public's perception of the media.

but can n do the sporean netizens police the web in a similar fashion as their international counterparts. an interesting, though particularly trivial, example of stomp was brought up, in arguing tt there is a sort of civil responsibility n ownership in the sporean community. moreover the issue of the raised ministers pay also brought abt equal levels of negative discursion as did the constructive debate on the casino issue. where the channels r opened for open debate, sporeans may possibly act in a journalistically responsible manner.

but equally critical is the qn regarding the internet maturity of sporean, by which i refer to the level of intellectual maturity sporeans take with regards to info off the web. with exp, many do realize abt the half-truths present on the internet. nevertheless, decades of media babysitting may have caused a sort of information apathy or equally a loss of instinctive inquiry, either of which results in lazy n irresponsible acceptance of info. does this then qualify the right of the govt to restrict the media, or shld we espouse the developmental opinion abt deregulation in order to build information-tiquette? We shld similarly not jump to the hasty false dilemma of assuming tt a smooth transition between our current state to the informationally savvy state is impossible; and tt an instant removal of barriers would lead to chaos.

With this in view, the speaker argues tt since the govt cannot possibly control the entire new media, it has no choice but to accept the latter alternative. cherian george in calibrated coercion suggests tt there r, in fact, certain tools at the disposal of the govt to restrict access, of which, he names the proxy server n different server classes as examples. but shld we accept these as sufficient systems, or even further to speculate tt the govt has the ability to conceive of a non-overtly oppresive innovation, or perhaps even to obtain the ultimate stage of calibrated coercion in convincing the members of public of the preported long-term benefits of the system. apparently, we do noe tt the govt does possess some controls. the not quite recent legal cases on the sedition act do give some glimpse of the possible (though unseen) legal frameworks behind the system. but moreover, there r sites which have completely escaped notice (definitely, some sites must fall thru the web) nor could b curtailed on the current legal framework. by the theory of calibrated coercion, an unsuitably high level of repression begets political distrust of the electorate. perhaps n equally so, do we find tt the dilemma exists to the extent at which govt sees a communal threat in the new media (n the lost opportunities from not engaging the new media).

evidently, the smooth transition from an uninquisitive media population to discerning n responsible individuals appears to b the single viable option to the govt. nevertheless, this may threaten a complete reversal of status-quo. no doubt a SMOOTH transition may b possible, the actuators of this change needs to b systemic in nature - restoring the self-confident individual who noes the limits n not fear to go to the limit. moreover, we have to build criticality into this framework, to move beyond trivial commentary (ie. ranting) to a sophisicated realization of ad absurdum of alternatives. yet, the media is not isolated in this dilemma. can we cultivate the same researchers from this batch of non-inquisitive individuals? can we grow a sense of light-footedness of economic sensitivity n astuteness in the man-on-the-street? can we inculcate a spirit of continual adaptation without questioning the presence n passage of change? the dilemma of our intelligent nation is only epitomized on the theatre of the new media.

gg-ed.

Current Location: cam (not in the river)
Current Mood: free enough to think